Saturday, April 4, 2009


Okay, now that I have given you the background story of how I became a big fat homosexual, I am determined to make this blog A Practical Guide for the Gay Mormon Man. Therefore, future posts will include helpful hints and tips that I have found make my life a little more FABULOUS! 

Today's lesson is all about acronyms!

I have discovered that people in the church tend to be very uncomfortable with homosexuality. To make them feel more comfortable, they have adopted a few acronyms...

SSA- This stands for Same Sex Attraction. I think this was one of the first acronyms that people started using. Using three initials makes homosexuality seem very clinical, almost like a medical diagnosis. Just a note... You never say you are SSA, you say you have SSA or that you struggle with SSA. This way people know that you didn't choose it, but beware... you may have to reassure them that their young children can't catch it either.

SGA- The church hit the jackpot with this one! Same Gender Attraction took the sex right out of SSA. This is an acronym that even Grandma could be proud of! By saying that you are attracted to the same gender, and not the same sex, no one will ever guess that your "attraction" to men is sexual. GENIUS!!! Who knows, when you tell people you struggle with SGA, you might even be able to get people to sit next to you at church. Unfortunately, you may still need to reassure them that it's not contagious. :(

GAY- Ok, it's not really an acronym, but it is my favorite one. For some reason, saying I'm gay means "I don't care what you think I am... I know who I am and if it makes you uncomfortable... too damn bad!" There are a lot of people out there who feel like saying you're gay means that you are sexually active and living a gay lifestyle. Who made up that rule? I decided a long time ago, that if me telling my truth makes other people uncomfortable, then they are the ones that need to learn and grow... not me!

What I have discovered, is that no matter what you want to call yourself, or whatever you believe you are, find a way to make it powerful for you. If you're like me, you have lived plenty of your life carrying a deep dark secret. Be honest with yourself, and find a way to love yourself for who you really are. Embrace the good, and accept the bad. You'll be much healthier when you do.

I guess you can say I follow the admonition of RuPaul: 

"If you can't love yourself... How in the HELL you gonna love somebody else?"


Ps. If you're a Tranny... your's is a whole different story!


  1. Thank you! I'm tired of being a condition and forced into a sanitized box that the members of the church can more easily digest... GAY is a good word and I think it describes hundreds of qualities that make me a better person and Momon!
    LOVE the Blog!

  2. I love it! I've always thought it was funny to say that I have SSA or SGA, like it is a disease. I really like your blog so far! Thanks for sharing man!

  3. Um.. I secretly love RuPaul.. okay.. so it's not a secret but still. :)

  4. I agree with the whole gay definition thing. "What!? You're gay!? That must mean you're completely promiscuous!" Whatever! :-P

  5. I don't blame people for thinking that. Look at who's out there representing gay mormons! The ones you see in front of the temple kissing their partner with picket signs? The ones who call press conferences trying to get the church to let them get married in the temple? The ones who you see at the mall and wonder if they are gay men or really girly females?

    This gives me an idea for a post... Thanks!

  6. Hey!

    So I totally appreciate your opinion, it's pretty rad. But I tend to say I have SSA/SGA (in a situation where they understand the difference) and not say I am gay. I don't feel like this insinuates in any way that I am ill or contagious.

    I say I have SSA because that's all it is! It only makes up a small part of me. I don't walk up to someone and say, HI! I'm gay... Because I'm not gay. Gay is only a small part of me. Just because I enjoy racing cars doesn't mean I am a racer, it's only one very small defining factor. (If that makes sense) I am a mountain biker, writer, runner, model and so much more. Saying I am gay feels too "all inclusive" for my taste. Where as if I say I have SSA I feel like I am able to portray that I don't let "being gay" run my life!

    Saying I am gay makes me feel like that is my one defining characteristic, and it isn't. It's only a small part of my life that only affects me in my dating relationships.

  7. Jared:

    Do you ever say
    "I'm Mormon" or
    "I'm male" or
    "I'm white" (substitute appropriate ethnicity if necessary) or
    "I'm American" (ditto) or
    "I'm right-handed" or
    "I'm short" or
    "I'm athletic" or
    "I'm ..."

    Does saying any one of these mean that that one thing is your "one defining characteristic"?

    Why should "I'm gay" be any different?

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  9. AMEN Scott! I was just texting my sister, Sister SisterSomebody, about the fact that I'm crazy!!! Even that doesn't define me... although it probably should! : )

  10. sorry, but SGA is taken: small for gestational age. think of the trauma when some fine young man sends his medical records in for his mission call, and then gets rejected because when he was born he was diagnosed as "SGA" (which must have made someone wonder about the advances of science--being able to know someone is gay before he is even born!